Beware the Aliens

And I don’t mean Mexicans in Arizona or in Mississippi either. I mean them. Out there in the universe somewhere. We need to be afraid of them, says Stephen Hawking. Great. I could handle this if Tom Cruise had said it, but this is Stephen Hawking, certified smart man.

I decided there wasn’t much I could do or say about a giant blob of oil that we all sit around waiting for like a bad 70s movie: Attack of the Crude Oil Blob. To distract myself I pulled up Google News and clicked to a random article about anything other than oil and decimated eco-systems and industries. I got Stephen Hawking saying the Oil Blob is nothing compared to what the aliens will do to us when they finally show up.

There’s my mood lifter.

People keep comparing the oil spill to Katrina. I don’t even know what that means. I think this will not hit us with a bang like a hurricane. It will be more insidious, with perhaps longer-ranging results. In truth, I don’t know what it will be like, but it will not be like a hurricane.

If it were a hurricane, even a large one, we would know what to do to prepare.

I stood in Wal-Mart this evening thinking, “What do you buy the night before an Oil Blob attacks?” A guy walked past me saying to his friend, “I’m gonna get me a big screen TV.”

Why not? All the better to see our dead marine life, I suppose.

And what a useless feeling it is to know we can do nothing to save that marine life. I’m sickened by the whole thing. Horrified. It’s too much to think about. If I could bring a dolphin home to keep it safe, I would, but my bathtub isn’t very big.

So sad, and as if not sad enough, now the aliens are coming, and it’s every carbon life form for herself. Good luck, world.