Talking to Myself on a Rainy Morning

Me: My head hurts and my back hurts and my eyes are itchy and runny and it is raining outside. I don’t want to go to work today.

Me: You’ve gotta go to work.

Me: But I don’t want to.

Me: If you go to work today, I’ll let you stay up past your bedtime tonight to watch Jon Stewart.

Me: I can watch Jon Stewart online tomorrow.

Me: If you go to work today, I’ll let you stop for sushi on your way home for a treat.

Me: I could go back to bed for a few hours, take a half a day off and go do some work this afternoon. Then I would still deserve a treat.

Me: No, you wouldn’t, you dufus.

Me: Would too.

Me: You can’t go back to bed anyway. You have a morning appointment with a student.

Me: Oh.

Me: You don’t want to not be there when the student shows up. That’s very annoying.

Me: I could email him. It would be okay.

Me: Quit arguing about this and pick up your keys.

Me: Well, if I have to…

Two hours later

Me: I guess that student is not ever showing up, huh?