Me: My head hurts and my back hurts and my eyes are itchy and runny and it is raining outside. I don’t want to go to work today.
Me: You’ve gotta go to work.
Me: But I don’t want to.
Me: If you go to work today, I’ll let you stay up past your bedtime tonight to watch Jon Stewart.
Me: I can watch Jon Stewart online tomorrow.
Me: If you go to work today, I’ll let you stop for sushi on your way home for a treat.
Me: I could go back to bed for a few hours, take a half a day off and go do some work this afternoon. Then I would still deserve a treat.
Me: No, you wouldn’t, you dufus.
Me: Would too.
Me: You can’t go back to bed anyway. You have a morning appointment with a student.
Me: You don’t want to not be there when the student shows up. That’s very annoying.
Me: I could email him. It would be okay.
Me: Quit arguing about this and pick up your keys.
Me: Well, if I have to…
Two hours later
Me: I guess that student is not ever showing up, huh?