4 out 5 Doctors Recommend

Day 47:  Go Methodist

(iPhone photo #47 in my 2012 365+5 project)

Once when I was giving a lecture on Shakespeare or something like that, a student raised his hand and asked if my name was really Dr. Gerald. I said yes. He said, “What kind of doctor are you?” I said, “A cardiologist,” and went back to talking about Shakespeare. Since this one guy kept calling me Dr. Gerald for the rest of the semester, I feel fully qualified to hand out some advice.

If you are feeling strung out and worn out and like you are probably going to have to spend a few days sitting under your desk pretending not to be there if you manage to show up for work at all, you should first try packing in some extra sleep. Last night I went to bed at 7:30 and got up at 7:00 this morning. I had a much better day today.

If that doesn’t work for you, maybe a spin on the Methodist bike would do it. I would have taken it for a spin myself today. It was awfully tempting sitting there unattended. But I think it belongs to a preacher who is the son of a man who once taught me Emerson and Thoreau. I’ve been reading some from the book of Leviticus this week, which I recommend as a general sleep aid. If you want something with more literary appeal, you should probably skip ahead to some Psalms. I’m sure there must be something in Leviticus, though, about not driving the Methodist bike without permission. Especially not if the preacher who owns it recognizes you and can tell his dad on you.

Anyhow, if you don’t have a Wesleyan activity on hand to make you feel better, sleeping for 11 and a half hours straight ought to do the trick. Try it. Four out of five doctors of philosophy (and literature) recommend it.

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