{"id":430,"date":"2010-04-30T20:19:07","date_gmt":"2010-05-01T03:19:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/?p=430"},"modified":"2010-04-30T20:19:07","modified_gmt":"2010-05-01T03:19:07","slug":"beware-the-aliens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/?p=430","title":{"rendered":"Beware the Aliens"},"content":{"rendered":"

And I don’t mean Mexicans in Arizona or in Mississippi either. I mean them. Out there in the universe somewhere. We need to be afraid of them, says Stephen Hawking<\/a>. Great. I could handle this if Tom Cruise had said it, but this is Stephen Hawking, certified smart man.<\/p>\n

I decided there wasn’t much I could do or say about a giant blob of oil that we all sit around waiting for like a bad 70s movie: Attack of the Crude Oil Blob<\/em>. To distract myself I pulled up Google News and clicked to a random article about anything other than oil and decimated eco-systems and industries. I got Stephen Hawking saying the Oil Blob is nothing compared to what the aliens will do to us when they finally show up.<\/p>\n

There’s my mood lifter.<\/p>\n

People keep comparing the oil spill to Katrina. I don’t even know what that means. I think this will not hit us with a bang like a hurricane. It will be more insidious, with perhaps longer-ranging results. In truth, I don’t know what it will be like, but it will not be like a hurricane.<\/p>\n

If it were a hurricane, even a large one, we would know what to do to prepare.<\/p>\n

I stood in Wal-Mart this evening thinking, “What do you buy the night before an Oil Blob attacks?” A guy walked past me saying to his friend, “I’m gonna get me a big screen TV.”<\/p>\n

Why not? All the better to see our dead marine life, I suppose.<\/p>\n

And what a useless feeling it is to know we can do nothing to save that marine life. I’m sickened by the whole thing. Horrified. It’s too much to think about. If I could bring a dolphin home to keep it safe, I would, but my bathtub isn’t very big.<\/p>\n

So sad, and as if not sad enough, now the aliens are coming, and it’s every carbon life form for herself. Good luck, world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And I don’t mean Mexicans in Arizona or in Mississippi<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/430","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=430"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/430\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}