{"id":2307,"date":"2020-03-07T16:51:46","date_gmt":"2020-03-07T22:51:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/?p=2307"},"modified":"2020-03-07T16:51:46","modified_gmt":"2020-03-07T22:51:46","slug":"pain-diary-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/?p=2307","title":{"rendered":"Pain Diary #3"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">on broken hearts and bad hips<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your country will break your heart again.<br>It will break your heart like a bad boyfriend,<br>like the liberal feminist boyfriend<br>who has hated every female boss <br>he has ever had, like the conservative<br>you put up with because <br>he seemed so smart until <br>you realized he said the same thing <br>in every argument and told <br>the same jokes for 30 years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your hip will hurt worse <br>every time your heart breaks<br>because who has time to stretch<br>when you need to stress eat and <br>lose all hope in the basic decency<br>of the world around you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your boots were made for walking,<br>sure, but they can&#8217;t go anywhere <br>from the top shelf of the closet <br>where they&#8217;ve sat through<br>the past three years of limping<br>in orthopedic slip-ons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Once they called it hysteria<br>when depression, anxiety,<br>and trauma exacerbated illness.<br>They gave it a label that meant<br>they didn&#8217;t believe it was real<br>and assigned that label only<br>to women and girls. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Does your physical pain <br>make your emotional pain worse,<br>or is it the other way around?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yes, yes, you know the answer<br>better than the doctors who rarely<br>listen after asking if you are depressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You are going to have a limp<br>for a long time, girl,<br>the rest of forever most likely.<br>It&#8217;s mostly emotional <br>and mostly physical,<br>probably even somewhat genetic.<br><br>You have no choice,<br>so you&#8217;ll get up and do what <br>you need to do regardless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You have nowhere else,<br>no one else, no other country<br>than this one that just keeps<br>breaking hearts and letting <br>hips go untreated,<br>so once again, you will<br>have your cry out,<br>eat some chocolate,<br>squint your eyes,<br>pull your hair,<br>slip on your comfy shoes,<br>and ask yourself <br>just what in the hell<br>he\/they\/we are thinking.<br>What? Why? How?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The pain doesn&#8217;t stop,<br>but the calendar changes.<br>Tomorrow, you have things<br>to do that you will manage. <br>Tomorrow, no one will<br>notice your limp. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>on broken hearts and bad hips Your country will break<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47,114],"tags":[122,121,120,112,113],"class_list":["post-2307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","category-wellness-journey","tag-bad-politics","tag-depression","tag-pain-diary","tag-ra","tag-rheumatoid-arthritis"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}