{"id":1156,"date":"2010-12-05T07:26:04","date_gmt":"2010-12-05T14:26:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/?p=1156"},"modified":"2010-12-05T07:26:04","modified_gmt":"2010-12-05T14:26:04","slug":"let-go-reverb-10-day-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/?p=1156","title":{"rendered":"Let Go (Reverb 10, Day 5)"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

Today’s prompt<\/a>: What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?<\/em><\/p>\n

The incessant question in every overworked person’s mind is “What can I leave behind?”<\/p>\n

\"IMG_0366\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’ve tried to leave some things behind this year, to let some responsibilities go so as to salvage a little of my own sanity. I’m not sure I’ve been very successful. I’m not sure I have let anything go. I have abandoned projects midstream, and I have left people waiting for responses from me, but “let go” isn’t the term for this, not in any positive sense of the term. What I’ve done is struggle.<\/p>\n

What I’d like to let go is my own idea that I have to be all things to all people.<\/p>\n

What I’d like to let go is a big chunk of my overload work.<\/p>\n

What I’d like to let go is my own frustration at not being able to tie all of the threads together.<\/p>\n

It wouldn’t hurt if I let go of a few more pounds along the way.<\/p>\n

I haven’t been successful at any of this. I’ve been anxiety-ridden. I’ve hit my own limits, and I feel there’s nothing I can do. The economy is bad. I have no choice but to take what work I can get even if it is too much. I could, of course, make life easier on myself by not blogging, not taking on projects, and not getting involved with groups and people and expectations. I could become the kind of person who just goes home and watches America’s Got Talent<\/a> at the end of the day.<\/p>\n

That isn’t me, though. It isn’t who I want to be. Thus, we’ve hit the conundrum faced by addicts everywhere. The one thing that could lighten my load is the one thing I don’t want to give up. In this case, it’s my own mental drive. Even when it exhausts itself, abuses itself, and drives itself to the point of despair, I have to have it to cope. Maybe my mental drive is nothing more than a hamster running on a wheel, but it is mine, and I will spin it and spin it until it kills me if I want to.<\/p>\n

I can possibly channel my addiction to mental stimulation in healthier ways, however. I can learn macrobiotics and yoga. I can set more realistic goals. I can teach myself not to make promises I can’t keep. I can ease up on if not let go of my inner urge to prove myself.<\/p>\n

At least it is pretty to think so this morning.<\/p>\n

Yesterday, my friend said I needed more turtle in my post. Here we go.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_3582\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’m probably not ever going to be the turtle who lines up in a row with everyone else, but even the turtle who picks his own path knows to take it slow. I’ll get there when I get there, and so will you, my friend. Until then, it’s turtles all the way down<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today’s prompt: What (or whom) did you let go of<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reflecting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1156"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1156\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.writerlyhaphazardry.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}